Sometimes you’ve had kind of a rough night, and you hate the fuckin Eagles…man.

And then other times things are going quite swimmingly. Yay!

On this late Thursday morning, I am living the dream: posting in my underwear and listening to the sweet sounds of R&B coming from an apartment down the hallway. I only regret not having the foresight to grab a coffee before undertaking this venture. Better whip through this so’s I can get my fix. Here goes:

First of all, your boy is employed again. I have a gig at a coffee shop in Westport. This is handy for several reasons, few of which I feel the need to enumerate in detail, but chief among them being the cafe’s geographical proximity to the apartment shared by the missus and myself. I ought to acquire a bicycle. The cafe itself is deceptively friggin’ huge, and has two black box-ish theatre spaces downstairs. It also has a quaintness that I admire: a cash register without a computer (this means you have to write orders down! on paper! with your hands and everything!), a pinball machine based on the 1989 Batman, a working phone box (but not a police box, unfortunately). They are also what I would consider a legit coffee shop because their machine has portafilters, like it should be. No push-button automatic coffee shenanigans here. Having been spoiled by aforementioned push-button automatic coffee shenanigans, it’s taking me a bit to get my sea legs under me again. But I think in the end it will be quite worth the effort. See, when you tamp the grounds in the filter yourself, and you watch the milk steam, making all those tiny wrist adjustments in order to make that impossibly delicate froth that demonstrates that you know what you’re doing, motherfucker…it’s a craft, like in the old days of tradesmen and artisans. Achievement is what I’m talking about here, and you can’t get it by pressing a button. Unless you’re playing XBox. (Achievement unlocked: Rapacious Ranting – 10G) All right, enough getting misty over making coffee.

On the housecleaning front, we were informed by the building’s exterminators that we have a case of the bed bugs. Looks like we fell short in following the advice of nursery rhymes. For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure: don’t. Seriously. Fuck bed bugs. More good than bad came from this experience, however. We cleaned the house like it was going out of style, did ALL of the laundry, and learned some fun scientific facts about bugs and how to pitilessly destroy them. I went out to the lawn & garden store and came home with a magical little substance called diatomaceous earth. Basically, it is made of fossilized single-celled algae. This stuff sticks to the exoskeleton of insects and effectively dehydrates them all the way to the dead place. There’s a lot more to it than that, feel free to google/wiki it to make your brain bigger. My fingers are still crossed that at some point during the bed bug extermination, I will end up singing in a barbershop quartet with Alec Baldwin and begging for change on the subway. What’s that? We don’t have a subway? Boo, I say thee!

Alright, wrapping it up with a story and a picture or two. Last weekend, there was a 90s-themed party, and I suggested that Baby Carrots and I go as rockabilly kids. I found a Social Distortion shirt on the cheap, put on a pair of BC’s jeans, shaved my beard down to just sideburns, and with more hair product than anyone has ever used before, we managed to wrangle my hair into a pompadour.

The finished product. Milady also filled in the sideburns with a bit of makeup.

I’ve been wanting to dress like that since I was twelve years old, so that was all kinds of fun. Also brought back some memories, mostly the year 1997, which makes sense. That was the neo-swing revival year. It also made me think about Superbad. Not the movie, the man. Superbad worked at GameXChange back when it was over by Calico County, and he was rockabilly as fuck. I want to say he played in a band called Straight Eights? Anyway, he was a great guy, mostly because he put up with this teenager hanging out in his store all afternoon and playing video games. Wow. Flood of memories. Think I’ll make a separate post about GameXChange at a later date. I gotta get some food and coffee in me. All you hep cats out there stay cool, dig?

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3 Comments

Filed under How Things Are Today

3 responses to “Sometimes you’ve had kind of a rough night, and you hate the fuckin Eagles…man.

  1. Pingback: I’m The David Sedaris Of My Life.

  2. Happy to hear you’re all settled in.
    That new look suits you, although when people start having 90’s themed parties I begin to realize I really am an old bastard.

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